Further contemplation

I've been thinking a whole lot over the past few days about my decision to step away from being in a band, and I really feel it's right for me right now. I still want to play live, and I'll miss the money, but to be honest, I want to be better than I am, and I want the people I play with to be even better than me.

So many times in my musical life I've accepted the fact that I'm going to probably be the best musician in the band (the kind that can show everyone else how to do their job or play their role), or at least the guy with the best ears. It's been a compromise, because it leads me to behaviors I don't really enjoy, like being in people's faces about getting things close (if not exactly right) or about the arrangements or timing. I hate it. It feels like babysitting, only the kids are adults and they don't need to be babysat, so I just seem like a complete prickazoid.

I think it's time for me to be in a situation where it's just me for a while, so I can avoid being "Captain Know-it-all" about stuff. I really hate that side of my personality. Having it reflected back at me recently (by a new band member that quickly became an old one) was bizarre. The thing is, I think it's just a complete misunderstanding of where it comes from that leads to people assuming I'm such a dick about this stuff.

But back to the music...time to get good and write something profound (unlike this tripe).